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Mail Order Mommy
Christine Johnson


A Mother by ChristmasNursing a broken heart, Amanda Porter had answered a frontier mail-order bride ad placed by Garrett Decker's children—only to find the groom-to-be didn't want a wife. The widowed bachelor she hoped to marry does need a housekeeper, though, and taking the job is Amanda's only option. But his adorable children are determined she'll be their mother by Christmas…His wife's betrayal and tragic death demolished Garrett's life. Now he can't even look at another woman, let alone marry Amanda, who resembles his first love. Even if she does make his house feel like a home, filling it again with laughter and his children's smiles. But with his daughter convinced Amanda is the perfect mother, will Garrett realize she's also his perfect match?







A Mother by Christmas

Nursing a broken heart, Amanda Porter had answered a frontier mail-order bride ad placed by Garrett Decker’s children—only to find the groom-to-be didn’t want a wife. The widowed bachelor she hoped to marry does need a housekeeper, though, and taking the job is Amanda’s only option. But his adorable children are determined she’ll be their mother by Christmas...

His wife’s betrayal and tragic death demolished Garrett’s life. Now he can’t even look at another woman, let alone marry Amanda, who resembles his first love. Even if she does make his house feel like a home, filling it again with laughter and his children’s smiles. But with his daughter convinced Amanda is the perfect mother, will Garrett realize she’s also his perfect match?


“Are you all right? Is anything broken?”

His warm hand slid over her cheeks, and the awkward disaster turned into something else entirely.

This time when she opened her eyes, she saw clearly. What she saw took her breath away.

Garrett was gazing into her eyes with compassion. The fall had dislodged his cap and ruffled his auburn hair. His cheeks burned bright from the cold, but his concern was only for her. His thumb whispered over her lips, and she trembled at the gentleness of his touch.

“Do they hurt?” His low voice rumbled through her like none other.

“No,” she managed to breathe out.

“Do you hurt anywhere?”

Oh, to be able to say yes and feel that touch again. Instead, she had to shake her head.

He breathed out in relief, but he did not draw away.

She could not stop looking into those soft gray-blue eyes. His mouth was so close. She could feel his breath on her lips. Oh, my.

Was he going to kiss her?


A small-town girl, CHRISTINE JOHNSON has lived in every corner of Michigan’s Lower Peninsula. She enjoys creating stories that bring history to life while exploring the characters’ spiritual journeys. Though Michigan is still her home base, she and her seafaring husband also spend time exploring the Florida Keys and other fascinating locations. You can contact her through her website at christineelizabethjohnson.com (http://www.christineelizabethjohnson.com).


Mail Order Mommy

Christine Johnson






www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.

—Hebrews 10:17


For my SewTogether quilting friends past and present. Our time together with needle and thread brings this writer much joy.


Contents

Cover (#u6dbcd9c7-3e5f-5b27-9322-b00d6da064e3)

Back Cover Text (#uc8e5b69d-87a3-5d15-bc51-aff2f19032fa)

Introduction (#u9c8d8633-70d7-52b2-a0bc-448d85246b70)

About the Author (#udf8933c1-5496-5129-aa9f-b4c3b4c1e567)

Title Page (#u30a27210-0733-5195-98ae-83565dc17bab)

Bible Verse (#uce461c04-7af9-5024-afe6-6de7a0905ddb)

Dedication (#u12dfb724-3685-5bd5-8526-fd4dc83c6676)

Chapter One (#ulink_8ccdbf9c-7f70-5a3f-811b-4cbc56e07bbb)

Chapter Two (#ulink_45370bc8-2811-5217-be5b-8d97f57d748e)

Chapter Three (#ulink_294b23f2-5b48-52e9-9299-f0d1753d7f1c)

Chapter Four (#ulink_d96cf219-4257-5147-983f-99164c38c6ac)

Chapter Five (#ulink_c9fcc312-fa46-515c-a8df-3c368d3c05a0)

Chapter Six (#ulink_7447bf10-626c-54f0-8c24-06c4f3790199)

Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eighteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Nineteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Twenty (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Twenty-One (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Twenty-Two (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Twenty-Three (#litres_trial_promo)

Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)

Dear Reader (#litres_trial_promo)

Extract (#litres_trial_promo)

Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)


Chapter One (#ulink_3d07de27-31a5-5621-865c-8d728cc0c6f8)

December 2, 1870

Amanda Porter had made her decision, and there was no going back on it now.

She had sent the letter off on the mail boat at first light. Before she’d left the dock the crew had cast off lines, and the boat now steamed out the river on its way to Chicago.

The early morning breeze off Lake Michigan stung her cheeks on the walk back to the boardinghouse and made her pull her coat a little tighter. A dusting of snow had fallen overnight. The boardwalks across the soft sand shimmered in the first gleams of sunlight, but she could think only of the painful future that awaited her.

It would take at least two weeks for that letter to travel to New York City and a response to return to this Michigan lumber town. Singapore. The name had sounded exotic when she’d agreed to join her friend Pearl four months ago. Truthfully, she would have done anything to leave the Chatsworths’ house and the scene of her humiliation.

She had banked everything on that advertisement for a wife that Pearl had found: “Widower with handsome inheritance seeks wife in booming town soon to rival Chicago. Well-furnished, comfortable house. Inquire at mercantile for Mr. Garrett Decker. Singapore, Michigan.”

In Singapore, Amanda had expected to begin anew with someone to love and care for. The past could be forgotten in a bright new future, but it had all proved to be a trick. Garrett Decker did not want to marry. He claimed he’d never placed the advertisement. His children had sent it to the newspaper, because they wanted a new mother. That ought to have changed his mind, but he refused to consider marrying Amanda or one of the other two ladies who’d answered the advertisement. That wasn’t the only discrepancy. Located near the mouth of the Kalamazoo River, Singapore was tiny and in no way rivaled bustling Chicago. It boasted just one hotel, one boardinghouse and no church building. Sand constantly drifted off the dunes and onto the streets and boardwalks. Garrett Decker had no inheritance, handsome or not. Once again she’d been misled by a man.

That’s why she had to return to the only place that would accept her, albeit as a maid rather than a daughter. That, and Pearl’s upcoming wedding. Three and a half weeks were just enough time to finish the wedding dress planned for the special event. Amanda would see her friend married and settled. Then she would depart.

Pearl would not be pleased with the decision, but it couldn’t be helped. Since Garrett refused to marry and no other prospects loomed, Amanda must take charge of her life.

She pulled open the back door of the boardinghouse and stomped the snow and sand off her shoes before venturing into the steamy kitchen. The heat made her yank off her mittens and unbutton her coat in a hurry. She unpinned her plum-colored hat, which did nothing to shield her from the cold, and shoved the outerwear onto a hook in the butler’s pantry.

Platters of ham and poached eggs waited on the stove’s warming shelf, while the teakettle whistled. Since no one was around, she took the kettle off the heat before it boiled dry.

“Miss Amanda, what are you doing out so early on a Saturday morning?” Mrs. Calloway, the boardinghouse owner, breezed into the kitchen and grabbed a tray of cinnamon rolls out of the oven.

“I saw the mail boat was in and wanted to post a letter.”

“Oh, my, I should have had you take the boardinghouse mail.”

“I took it.”

“You’re such a fine girl. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” The boardinghouse proprietress whirled out of the kitchen just as quickly as she’d come in.

Amanda donned one of the aprons that Mrs. Calloway kept in a cupboard and lifted the tray of ham off the stove. Meals were served in a specific order. This time of year, those items that could be eaten cold were served before those that must remain hot. Even with the stoves blazing hot, many of the public rooms remained cool. The bedrooms were icy.

Upon entering the dining room, she found four seated at the table: Pearl, Fiona O’Keefe and two sawmill workers, whose presence reminded her that she’d missed a chance last month to locate her lost brother. Fiona was one of the other ladies who had answered Garrett Decker’s advertisement, and was from all appearances his current favorite. She sat with him at church, and he had attended some of her music recitals on Saturdays. Fiona’s smile grated on Amanda, so she concentrated on her friend, who looked ready to lecture the men for shoving the warm rolls into their mouths without the slightest regard for manners.

“Good morning.” Amanda set the ham on the table, and the men dug into that next.

Pearl shifted her attention to Amanda. “There you are. I wondered where you went so early. Mrs. Calloway said the mail boat is in.”

Naturally, Mrs. Calloway had passed along that bit of information. For all her lovely, good-hearted qualities, the boardinghouse proprietress couldn’t keep the tiniest scrap of information to herself.

“They’ve left already,” Amanda said. “The captain fears a storm is on its way.”

“A storm?” Fiona sipped tea from a porcelain teacup, three fingers daintily extended. “There’s not a cloud in the sky.”

“I suppose we will know in time.” Amanda found it easier to agree with Fiona than to get into a debate. The redhead refused to budge from a single opinion. “Anyway, the mail has arrived. Roland said it’ll be sorted by midmorning.”

Pearl smiled at the mention of her fiancé, who also happened to be Garrett Decker’s brother. When they’d first met Roland aboard the ship from Chicago, there’d been a terrible mix-up about the brothers. All three women answering the advertisement thought Roland was the man seeking a wife. Once they arrived in Singapore, the misunderstanding got sorted out. Pearl fell in love with Roland, and Amanda had managed to catch Garrett’s attention through his adorable children. But after last month’s fire, everything changed.

Fiona slid the pastry server under one of the cinnamon rolls that the men hadn’t gobbled up. “I’m expecting my manager to send word of a role in a new production at Niblo’s Garden.”

“I hope you get the part.” Amanda clapped her mouth shut. Though a booking at the popular theater would be a huge step in Fiona’s career, Amanda had said that a bit too eagerly.

Fiona noticed. “Want me gone, do you? Well, I’ll have you know that I’m this close to coming to an understanding with Garrett.” She held her thumb and index finger a fraction of an inch apart.

Amanda’s spirits sank. She had no idea Garrett was that close to proposing to Fiona. She swallowed tears of frustration. Everything had gone wrong here. Everything. It was best she’d decided to leave.

Pearl, on the other hand, set into Fiona with the tenacity of a guard dog. “Then why hasn’t Roland heard anything about this? As his brother, he should know.”

“Since when do brothers discuss romance?” Fiona brushed back a red curl that had slipped over her shoulder. “Garrett is a quiet, brooding sort. He requires a lively, vivacious woman to counter his natural disposition.”

Amanda edged toward the doorway. She would rather fetch the eggs than listen to one more confirmation that she’d lost all opportunity to win over Garrett Decker. Before she could slip away, Pearl’s teacher’s glare froze her in place.

Pearl returned her attention to the elegant redhead. “I hope you won’t be disappointed.”

Fiona’s brow furrowed. “Disappointed? Why should I be disappointed?”

“A star of the New York stage could never be happy in a lumber town. She must return to the theater at the beckoning of her adoring fans. Garrett doesn’t strike me as a man who cares for the big city.”

That brought to mind the one thing about Fiona O’Keefe that had perplexed Amanda since they first met. If Fiona was such a star, why would she leave New York to answer a mail-order bride advertisement? It made no sense.

Fiona smiled coyly. “A man will do almost anything for the woman he loves.”

Then Fiona is certain. Amanda pressed a hand to her midsection. Her last shreds of hope were rapidly disappearing.

“He will not go against his nature,” Pearl insisted.

Amanda could not picture Garrett in evening attire and top hat. Roland, yes. Garrett, never. Not for the first time she marveled at how different the two brothers were. Roland was tall and suave, always dressed in style. The shorter and more powerful Garrett preferred workingman’s clothes. His auburn hair was in direct contrast to Roland’s dark locks. They barely looked like brothers, though they certainly acted that way, often in playful competition.

Mrs. Calloway entered with the eggs. “Sit, Miss Amanda. Breakfast is served.”

Amanda did not feel like a guest, especially given the uncomfortable reality that she had a room here only by the charity of Pearl, who paid the cost of the room from her wages as a teacher, and the Calloways, who gave Amanda board in exchange for housekeeping. She could not ask the Calloways to let her stay free of charge once Pearl wed and moved on. Since Amanda had but one dime left to her name and no paying employment, she’d written her foster family asking for a service position in their household.

Under those circumstances, she should eat in the kitchen, but she’d learned from experience that Mrs. Calloway wouldn’t tolerate it. Even when Amanda explained that she’d always eaten in the kitchen at her foster family’s house, the boardinghouse proprietress shooed her from the room.

Mrs. Calloway set the eggs in front of the ladies and disappeared.

Amanda had barely taken her seat, prayed over the meal with Pearl and Fiona, and dished up one poached egg and the smallest slice of ham when a forceful knock sounded on the front door. Everyone stopped eating and looked up.

“Who could that be at this hour?” Pearl mused.

The women looked to the men, who both shook their heads.

“Perhaps a visitor came in on the mail boat,” Amanda suggested. If only it could be her long-lost brother, but the lumberjack who fit his description had reportedly left the area for work further north.

“More likely it’s your fiancé,” Fiona said to Pearl.

Amanda noticed a burst of color infuse her friend’s cheeks and a sparkle light her eyes. She dearly hoped Fiona was right, but fear niggled at the back of her mind. What if Garrett had come to propose to Fiona? What if it was an unwelcome caller like Hugh Bellchamp? Surely he would not follow her here from New York. She had told no one where she was going, just that she had left to marry someone on the “frontier.”

She set down her fork, unable to eat.

“It wouldn’t be Roland,” Pearl noted. “He would be busy with the mail and any merchandise for the store that came in on the mail boat.”

A knock sounded again.

“I don’t think Mrs. Calloway heard it.” Pearl began to rise.

Amanda set aside her napkin. “I’ll get it.”

“Sit down, girls.” Mrs. Calloway bustled past. “I’m on my way.”

That left the five of them in silence. The men shoveled food into their mouths. The ladies ate quietly, listening for a clue as to who had paid a call. Amanda picked at the food, unable to stomach one bite.

The dining room was situated fairly close to the front door. Given the force of the knock, Amanda expected to hear the caller’s voice. For the longest time, she heard nothing. She looked to Pearl, who shook her head. Even Fiona hadn’t heard a thing, and her hearing was more attuned to the softest nuances than theirs. For long minutes, only the clink of forks on china serenaded them. Then Mrs. Calloway’s booming voice broke the quiet.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure.” The man’s irritated voice was unmistakable. Garrett.

Amanda stared at the poached egg, its yolk spilling onto the plate. Who had he come to see? Her or Fiona? Or was he here about something that had happened at the mill? She looked to the men, who didn’t appear to care that their supervisor was at the door.

“Well, then, take a seat in the parlor,” Mrs. Calloway said. “I’ll ask her to join you.”

Her?

Amanda’s nerves tensed as the ladies looked at each other. Amanda held her breath, hoping against hope. Let it be for me. Please, let Garrett be here for me.

Mrs. Calloway’s footsteps drew near. A second later she poked her head into the dining room. “Miss Fiona, you have a caller.”

Amanda’s hand trembled so much that she had to set down her fork. Her ears began to ring. She drew another deep breath and pressed a cool hand to her throat. Pearl shook her head, as if to say it couldn’t possibly be what she feared, but Fiona had just said that Garrett was ready to propose.

Fiona smiled triumphantly. “Tell Garrett that I will join him in a moment.”

Dread wove around Amanda’s heart. She raised the teacup to her lips, but the tea tasted like wash water. With a trembling hand, she set the cup down.

Fiona checked her hair to make sure it was in place, while Mrs. Calloway headed back in the direction of the parlor.

Amanda choked out, “You’re not going to meet him at once?”

“A gentleman ought not call at this hour. He can wait a moment or two.” Fiona inclined her head toward Amanda. “It’s best to let them know that you are in control.”

Amanda was far from in control. At any moment she might faint dead away.

At last Fiona dabbed at her mouth with the napkin. The moment she made a move to get out of her chair, the man seated closest to her hopped up to help her from the table. Amanda’s heart sank even further. Fiona had a way of attracting every man’s attention, while she only attracted the wrong sort.

Fiona swept from the room, and the men followed, a cinnamon roll in each hand. That left Amanda alone with Pearl.

“It’s over then,” Amanda whispered. “He’s chosen her.”

Pearl slipped a piece of paper from between the covers of her record book and slid it across the table. “You have one advantage that she will never have.”

In a glance Amanda could tell that it was one of the student papers that Pearl had collected yesterday. The children were to write about what they most wanted for Christmas. Pearl had supplied her own stationery for the assignment, so each paper looked more like a letter. The signature on this one made Amanda catch her breath. Sadie. Garrett’s daughter.

The words drove a knife through her heart.

Can Jesus bring a nu mama? Mis Mana pleez.

This time she could not stop the tears from gathering in her eyes. That poor little girl had lost her mother in a tragic accident nearly two years ago. That she wanted a new mama was understandable. That she wanted Amanda made her heart ache. Amanda wanted that, too. How she wanted to be Sadie and Isaac’s mother, but wishing didn’t make things true.

“It’s too late.” Amanda pushed the assignment back across the table to Pearl.

Pearl placed it inside the record book again. “I showed it to Roland last night. He said he would tell his brother after the children fell asleep.”

“He did?” Hope blossomed. Could Garrett have called on Fiona this morning to break off their attachment? “Do you think it’s possible that—”

“Hire me?” Fiona’s screech carried into the dining room and cut off Amanda’s thought. “I am not hired help.”

Footsteps raced down the hallway and stomped up the staircase. A door slammed.

Pearl’s eyebrows lifted even as a grin teased her lips. “Well, isn’t that interesting.”

Interesting was not the word Amanda would have used. Shocking. Startling. Completely unexpected. Hire Fiona? What on earth for?

Amanda looked to Pearl for answers. “Why would they need a woman at the sawmill?” Not to mention that Fiona would never ever work in a sawmill.

Pearl pressed a napkin to her face, clearly trying to hide the fact that she was laughing.

“What is it? What do you know that I don’t?”

Pearl shook her head, but she didn’t pull the napkin from her face. A giggle sneaked out.

Amanda heard the front door open, and she instinctively rose. Garrett had come here this morning needing help, and Fiona had outright refused. He must be devastated. Amanda glided to the hallway.

Garrett stared back at her, his gaze stormy. He whipped the cap off his head and crushed it in one hand. With his hair sticking up at a boyish angle and his expression anguished, he looked as uncomfortable as she felt.

She tried to take it all in. Garrett wanted to hire Fiona? Not marry her? What had changed? Whatever it was, Amanda felt the tension slip from her shoulders. He looked so uncomfortable standing there, like a boy whose dreams had been crushed. Her heart went out to him, and she took a step in his direction.

He backed up.

She tried to speak, but only a croak came out.

“Miss Porter.” He shoved the cap on his head, flung open the door and left, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

Garrett stood on the boardinghouse porch and drew in a deep breath of the icy December air. Stockton wanted an answer by nine o’clock, when they were to meet in the hotel dining room. The night before, the mill owner had asked Garrett to head up the building of a new ship, a schooner, that would bear Stockton’s name. Instead of slicing logs for other men to use, Garrett would build a sailing ship. The chance to create sparked something inside him. It didn’t hurt that the new position also came with a substantial increase in wages.

It also meant much longer hours.

With Roland marrying Pearl the day after Christmas, Garrett and the children had to move out of the quarters they’d shared with Roland since Eva’s death a year ago April. His brother and new wife needed a place of their own, and since the lodgings were located above the mercantile that Roland managed, it made sense for Garrett to move.

In the wee hours of the night, he’d come to a decision. He would ask Stockton for the empty house on Cherry Street as part of his compensation as chief shipwright. It was the right thing to do. It also meant he needed a housekeeper to take care of the place and watch over the children when they weren’t in school. Together, he and Roland had managed. Barely. Though Sadie helped as best she could, she had just turned seven. He didn’t want her near a hot stove. He couldn’t ask Roland’s new wife to take over. Pearl had enough to do already, teaching school and setting up housekeeping. No, he needed to hire someone.

Not marry. Despite Sadie’s school paper. Roland had shoved that tidbit at him last night, no doubt thinking it would change his mind. It didn’t. His brother didn’t understand that a bad wife was worse than no wife at all. Sadie just missed her mama. In time, those feelings would wane. Moreover, with Pearl joining the family, Sadie would have someone to turn to with questions.

Hiring help, on the other hand, didn’t carry the same risk. A bad housekeeper could be fired. A good one would ease the transition to a new house. He’d considered every married woman in town, but that numbered only three: Mrs. Calloway, Mrs. VanderLeuven and Mrs. Elder. None of them would do. Mrs. Calloway had her hands full running the boardinghouse. Mrs. VanderLeuven ran the hotel, and Mrs. Elder was ailing and abed most of the time.

That brought him to the three ladies hoping to gain his hand: Amanda, Fiona and Louise Smythe. The latter already worked for Mrs. Elder, narrowing the field to two. After careful consideration, he’d selected the best baker, but Fiona had jumped away from his offer like a dull saw hitting a hard knot.

He tugged off his cap and raked a hand through his hair. What was he going to do?

The answer was both obvious and gut-wrenching.

He looked to the pale blue sky. Lord, are You forcing me into this?

He wasn’t ready to spend any time with a woman who reminded him too much of his late wife. It sure didn’t help that the children adored her, in spite of the fact that she’d lost track of Sadie in the fire last month that burned down the schoolhouse. Amanda’s inattention had nearly caused his daughter’s death. No, he was not ready to face Amanda Porter, but he didn’t have much choice. Taking a deep breath, he turned around and grasped the knob.

Lord, help me.

He would need it.

* * *

Amanda didn’t need any more proof that Garrett Decker felt nothing for her. At the mere sight of her, he ran.

She touched a hand to her hair. It seemed perfectly in place. She moved closer to the door, where a small mirror hung on the wall. No stray curl stuck out at an odd angle. No crumbs or irksome blemishes dotted her face. Her dress was the same modest plum gown he’d seen countless times. It had been recently laundered and pressed. In every respect she looked the same as always.

Yet he found her presence distasteful ever since the schoolhouse fire. Pearl assured her time and again that she’d explained to Garrett what had happened that day, how Amanda had struggled to keep the children together. They’d been so frightened when she hurried them out of the schoolhouse and marched them up the hill away from the blaze. She’d been so busy with the little ones entrusted to her care that she hadn’t noticed Sadie was missing. How had she missed that?

She swayed and put a hand against the wall to steady herself.

On that terrible day, she had nearly lost her dearest friend and the little girl she loved. From that moment forward, Garrett had stopped talking to her. He no longer asked her to watch the children. Fiona claimed that role.

Amanda glanced toward the staircase. What had happened between Garrett and Fiona? Instead of the proposal she had expected, Fiona had loudly refused to be hired. Why would Garrett need to hire a woman? Not for the sawmill. Pearl’s laughter had made that clear. Maybe Roland needed help at the store and had sent Garrett on the errand. Then why not offer the position to Amanda? Pearl knew how badly she needed work. Moreover, she had worked at the store once last summer. Fiona had not. Did Garrett mistrust her so much that he wouldn’t even recommend her for a job at the mercantile?

Amanda nibbled her lip.

Pearl joined her. “What did Garrett say?”

“Nothing. He left.”

“That’s curious.”

“Does Roland need help at the store?”

“Not that I know of. Why would you ask?”

“Because Fiona refused whatever job Garrett offered her. You heard her.”

The front door burst open. Amanda leaped back at the cold rush of air. Garrett paused in the doorway, looking alternately at her and Pearl.

“Come in or leave,” Pearl scolded, “but don’t stand there with the door open. Mrs. Calloway will wring your neck for letting out the warmth.”

Garrett stepped inside, closed the door and removed his cap. His ruggedly handsome face glowed red, though Amanda couldn’t tell if it was from embarrassment or the cold.

“I’m sorry, Miss Pearl.” He turned the cap around and around in his hands.

Amanda stepped back, ready to bolt for her room, but Pearl caught her arm and would not let her retreat.

“Did you wish to speak with someone?” Pearl asked. “Fiona, perhaps?”

He shook his head, gaze averted, and cleared his throat. “I wondered...” Again he cleared his throat.

“What did you wonder?” Pearl prompted.

He peeked at Amanda before lowering his gaze again. “Might I speak with Miss Porter?” He crushed the cap in his hands.

“Of course. Amanda would be glad to speak with you. Why don’t you two go into the parlor?” Pearl pushed her toward the parlor door.

Amanda’s heart pounded. Garrett wanted to speak to her? And he was having difficulty speaking? Why? He shouldn’t be nervous about offering her employment. Unless his return had nothing to do with that. Maybe he was going to tell Amanda never to see his children again. Her throat constricted.

She looked back at Pearl, who tipped her head, encouraging her to go into the parlor. Amanda couldn’t seem to move.

She finally found her voice, squeaky though it was. “I’m sure it’s all right with Garrett if you join us.”

Pearl waved off that idea. “I have to get to school.”

“Me, too,” Amanda squeaked. “The little ones will need help with their coats and boots. Then I’m supposed to read to them.”

The school operated out of the building that served as a church on Sundays, until a new schoolhouse could be built.

“I’ll be fine until you arrive.” Pearl turned to Garrett, who was still just inside the front door. “I wondered if you might build us something for Christmas.”

He hesitated, clearly wary. “What?”

“We can talk after you get done with work, or you can ask your brother. Roland knows exactly what I have in mind.”

“I, uh, I suppose I could, as long as it’s not too difficult. It’s only three weeks until Christmas Eve.”

Pearl’s mischievous smile meant she had something up her sleeve. “Oh, it’s nothing too terribly fancy. Besides, you’ll have help, and I know just the person.” She then glided off.

Amanda didn’t want to be alone with Garrett in the parlor. Well, that wasn’t quite true. She wanted to be alone with him, but only if he was able to look at her and speak with her. Since he’d gone silent again, that didn’t appear likely. Nevertheless, the parlor was more private than the front hall. She entered and sat down in her favorite chair, a lovely stuffed one with dainty legs and a flowered tapestry seat. Judging from the toppled pillow, Fiona had chosen the sofa. Amanda would not make that mistake.

Garrett followed her in but didn’t sit. He stood across the room, staring out the window. Amanda waited for what seemed like ten minutes, but he said nothing. At last she could stand it no longer.

“I wonder what that was about,” she mused. “Pearl didn’t say anything to me about building something for Christmas.”

“She didn’t?” He turned toward her, brow furrowed.

In spite of his burly build and ruddy cheeks, Garrett had an endearing boyish quality that tugged at her heart. The poor man had suffered terribly, losing his wife in a tragic accident, yet he endured, his faith unshakable. That more than anything terrified Amanda. Garrett Decker was a man of God. Could he see the shame hidden deep inside her?

She forced a smile. “She didn’t. I have no idea what she wants you to build.”

He scowled and turned back to the window.

Amanda waited for him to say something. The silence was beginning to unnerve her. After ignoring her the last few weeks, he certainly wasn’t going to ask for her hand. If only he realized how much his children needed a mother, but apparently even Sadie’s letter hadn’t changed his mind. If he offered Amanda a marriage of convenience, she would accept, but that appeared unlikely.

He sat in the chair opposite her on the other side of the room and continued to twirl his cap between his hands. Even now he said nothing. Her head spun with possibilities. As seconds dragged into minutes, she could no longer bear the suspense.

“You wanted to speak with me?” she prompted.

He nodded and finally looked up, a pained expression on his face. “I, uh, haven’t been fair to you lately.”

He wanted to apologize?

She gathered her wits. “A lot happened.” The fire.

“Don’t make excuses for me.” He looked up, but not at her. “You see, I’m still grieving my late wife.”

Amanda nodded and fixed her gaze on her clasped hands, the knuckles white. She flexed her fingers, but it didn’t relieve the tension.

He cleared his throat. “But that’s not why I’m here. The fact is that circumstances have put me in a difficult situation.” His gaze wandered to the samplers on the wall. “I—that is, we—plan to move to a house. The children and I.”

“I see.” Though she didn’t. Why did this involve her, unless he was going to propose a marriage of convenience?

“Roland and I have managed the cooking and cleaning since, well...you know.”

She drew in a sharp breath and captured his attention. Heat flooded her face. Was he going to ask the impossible? Her mouth grew dry, and she wished for one swallow of that unpalatable tea.

He looked down at his cap again. “Yes, well, once my brother marries, he’ll be, uh, preoccupied. So I thought it best that the children and I move. I’ll ask for a house when I accept the position as chief shipwright for the schooner Mr. Stockton is having built.”

“Congratulations.”

He nodded. “It’s not all settled yet. I have to meet Mr. Stockton in a few minutes. So that’s why I, uh...”

Amanda waited.

His lips began to form words before backing off. He twirled the cap again and heaved a tortured sigh. “There’s no way around it. I—that is, we—will need a housekeeper.”

A housekeeper! No wonder Fiona had stormed out of the parlor.

Though disappointed, Amanda couldn’t afford to pick and choose. She needed an income. Garrett was offering a position, doubtless one that paid enough for her to afford a room. Moreover, keeping house meant she could take care of Sadie and Isaac. It wasn’t marriage, but it would keep her in Singapore.

“Do the children know they will be moving?” she asked.

He shook his head. “I didn’t want to tell them until everything is set. I need to speak to Mr. Stockton in—” he glanced at the clock “—in ten minutes. I’d be much obliged if you would consider the position. I will pay you, of course.”

God did answer prayer, though certainly not in the way Amanda had hoped. She needed a paying job, and Garrett was offering just that.

“I accept.”

“You do?”

Was that hope she saw in his eyes?

“We should go over the details. For instance, when would you expect me to work? I can’t live at the house, naturally.” Her cheeks must be as red as a summer sunset.

“Of course not.” His expression confirmed that had never been his intent. “I assume you’d stay here and, uh, keep house and whatnot during the day.”

“I help out at the school.”

“That’s right. I forgot.” He scrubbed his auburn locks. “On weekdays, you can clean after the school day ends, but I’ll need you every day to take care of my son and daughter. Make supper.”

Make supper? Amanda gulped. She had no idea how to cook. Maybe Mrs. Calloway or Pearl could give her lessons before she began. “When would you need me to start?”

“Monday, if all goes as planned.”

That gave her the weekend to learn how to cook. “So soon?”

His mouth ticked. “I want to move out early to give Pearl time to set up the upstairs lodging the way she prefers.”

“That’s very considerate.” That took away her idea of asking Pearl to teach her to cook. She’d have to ask Mrs. Calloway. “You will have the house ready by then?”

“We’ll move the furniture this weekend. I was hoping you could help with the cleaning.”

“Now?”

“Next week would be fine.” Finally, his gaze landed on her, filled with such gratitude that her heart nearly stopped. “Thank you. This is a big help.”

It wasn’t marriage or even courting, but it would give her more time with Sadie and Isaac. Perhaps time would change their father’s mind.

Amanda stood. “I love spending time with Sadie and Isaac.”

This time Garrett gazed right into her eyes.

Her breath caught. Did she see a flicker of affection or was it simply gratitude?

He backed away and nodded curtly. “Thank you, again, Miss Porter. I must be on my way to the hotel for my meeting.”

“I hope it goes as you anticipate.”

He shoved the cap on his head. “I’m sure it will.”

They walked to the front door, where she saw him out. This time the frosty morning air didn’t bother her. She would not have to say farewell to Isaac and Sadie, after all. She would see them each and every day. Who knew where this might lead? Perhaps straight to Garrett Decker’s heart.

Garrett paused on the porch to don his cap. “I see Mr. Elder’s at the mercantile. Probably heard that the mail came in.”

The mail!

Oh, no. Her letter begging a position with the Chatsworths was on its way to New York, and she could do nothing to stop it.


Chapter Two (#ulink_af24ee8b-9170-5b63-887c-34465d494bb5)

Garrett surveyed the Cherry Street house the following morning. It didn’t take long to see why Stockton had readily agreed to include use of the house as part of Garrett’s compensation for taking the lead building the new ship. His excitement over putting to use skills he’d honed years ago in a Chicago shipyard waned in light of all the work that needed to be done on the house.

“The roof leaks in at least four places.” He pointed each one out to his brother. “Right next to the kitchen stove and over the table. Look how warped the tabletop is.”

“If anyone can fix it, you can.”

“I wanted to move in today.”

Roland shrugged. “You don’t need to move for a couple weeks. Why not fix what needs fixing first? It’s a lot warmer today. We could tackle the roof.”

“You?” Garrett had a tough time imagining his brother picking up a hammer, much less using it. “You couldn’t fix a crooked picture.”

He moved into the first bedroom before his brother could reply. Naturally, Roland followed.

“Another leak, over the bed,” Garrett pointed out.

“We’ll get the men from the mill to lend a hand and have it fixed by the end of the day.”

Roland was right, but Garrett hated to admit that he’d made this deal without checking out the house first. Thankfully, Roland didn’t point out that error.

“What about that project that Pearl wanted me to do?” Garrett prodded.

Roland’s future wife wanted a stable built for a nativity play she had planned for the children.

“That can wait until you move in.” Roland grinned. “Or you could stay put for another week.”

Garrett couldn’t. “I hired Miss Porter starting Monday.”

“Don’t you mean Amanda?”

Garrett scowled. “This is a business arrangement, not personal. �Miss Porter’ will do.”

If anything, Roland’s grin grew wider. “Good decision. She loves Sadie and Isaac and will be perfect for the job.”

Garrett bristled, the memory of nearly losing Sadie still raw. “There wasn’t anyone else.”

“Then God made sure it worked out for Amanda to get the job.”

Garrett still couldn’t wrap his mind around Roland’s newfound faith. “Maybe God didn’t have anything to do with it. Maybe it was just circumstances.”

“Maybe.” Roland’s grin said otherwise. “Either way, it ended up the best way possible.”

Garrett didn’t quite see it that way. “How can I can trust her?”

“She’s as trustworthy as Pearl.”

They’d had this argument before, but Garrett couldn’t forget what happened during the fire. “Thanks to her inattention, Sadie almost died.”

“She didn’t die.” Roland’s jaw set. “And you’re forgetting that Amanda led eleven children to safety, including Isaac.”

Garrett knew he was being unfair. After all, Pearl was the schoolteacher in charge of the children. Amanda had volunteered to help. He shouldn’t hold her to a higher standard, but Sadie’s brush with death had shaken him. It hadn’t been that long since his wife, Eva, died. Less than two years. He couldn’t bear losing anyone else.

Since this argument was leading nowhere, he put an end to the inspection. “Guess I’ll head back to the mill and round up some help.”

“Can you wait a minute? Pearl’s on her way here.”

“Why?” Garrett asked warily.

“You’ll need a woman’s opinion on what needs to be done to get the place ready.”

“I don’t need anyone else’s opinion. A woman will want to change everything.” Garrett thought back to his late wife’s demands. Nothing was ever good enough for Eva. Garrett had bought her everything he could afford, but it was never enough.

Roland walked back into the main room, which combined the kitchen and sitting area with a table for meals, study and anything else the children needed to do.

“The sideboard can go there, and the sofa would fit in that corner.” Roland pointed to various spots as he listed off the pieces of furniture that Garrett had put into storage after Eva’s death. “The china cabinet would fit in the corner.”

“Stop!” Garrett couldn’t bear another word. “None of that furniture is coming here. You use it, and I’ll haul over the things we’re using now.”

“Not a chance. Pearl would never stand for it.”

“Why? Eva’s things are a lot nicer than what we’re using now.”

“That doesn’t matter to someone like Pearl.”

That’s what bothered Garrett about Amanda. Pearl might not care about worldly things, but Amanda obviously did. Her gowns were stunning. Her hair was always fixed just so. Nothing was ever out of place. She was the very picture of the delicate female. Too much like Eva. No, his late wife’s furniture would never do.

“I can’t look at that furniture each day,” Garrett insisted.

“Pearl feels the children need to be around their mother’s things, that they won’t get past her death until they can see and touch what’s left behind. I happen to agree.”

“Stop it. First Miss Porter and now this. Stop pushing me.”

“It’ll be two years come April. You need to let go.”

“Don’t tell me what to do until you’re in my shoes.” Garrett didn’t point out that Pearl had nearly died rescuing Sadie in last month’s fire.

Judging from Roland’s expression, he didn’t need to.

* * *

“First help me out,” Pearl told Amanda as she donned her cloak in the front hallway of the boardinghouse, “and then I’ll show you how to cook some basic things, like eggs and biscuits.”

“That won’t help me for supper. He said I’d need to cook supper.”

“All right, then I’ll teach you how to make hash and stew and that sort of thing.”

“But...”

Amanda had hoped to get started early. Mrs. Calloway had approved, as long as whatever they made could be served to the boardinghouse guests. Given Amanda’s current lack of knowledge, the guests were going to suffer. The very thought of cooking something terrified her. Aside from boiling water and collecting serving platters, she steered clear of the big cookstove.

Pearl held out Amanda’s coat. “It will only take a few minutes.”

“Then you will teach me to cook?”

Pearl nodded.

Amanda conceded defeat and threw on her coat. The hat took longer, since the pins refused to hold it in the proper place. Every time she thought she had it just right, she’d take a step, and the hat would slide to the side.

“You don’t need to look perfect,” Pearl complained. “At this rate we will never get there. Here.” Pearl tied the ribbons under Amanda’s chin.

“You know I hate to have anything tied under my chin.” Amanda tugged on the ribbons, but Pearl had knotted them.

“If we don’t go now and get this taken care of, there won’t be any time left to cook.”

“Then we can forget this little errand that you refuse to divulge and go straight into cooking lessons.”

Pearl laughed. “You can’t wriggle out of this that easily.” She opened the front door. “Come along.”

Amanda gave up and followed her friend. Instead of heading to the store, Pearl took off in the opposite direction, toward the dunes. Amanda hurried and caught up.

“Where are you going?” Her words came out in gasps.

“It’s a surprise. Don’t you love surprises?”

“It depends. Some of your surprises didn’t turn out all that well. Like the excursions you proposed back at the orphanage.”

“They would have been highly educational if Miss Hornswoggle could have overlooked that one little problem at the cathedral.”

“The boys claimed we locked them in that room with all the robes, when they should never have gone in there in the first place. And you made me go tell Miss Hornswoggle, so she could fetch someone to unlock the door.”

Pearl shrugged. “She always forgave you anything. I would have had to clean the floors for two months.”

Amanda laughed at the memory. “She did have a soft spot for me.”

“And no wonder. You are the sweetest, prettiest girl on earth.”

Pearl’s words sent a shiver down Amanda’s spine. Hugh had said the very same thing, but he hadn’t meant it. “No surprises, please.”

Pearl laughed. “This isn’t bad. I promise. And I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

Amanda wasn’t certain she believed her. “Then tell me where we’re going and what we’re going to do there.”

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

Amanda sighed. She would have to guess. “Does it have something to do with that project you asked me to work on?”

“Perhaps. In a roundabout way.”

Amanda hated when Pearl acted like this. It meant she had come up with some grand idea that involved her. When Pearl had approached her about coming to Singapore, she’d held back all the details until Amanda agreed to consider it. By then Pearl had purchased the train ticket to Chicago for her. If Amanda hadn’t suffered such humiliation at Hugh’s hands, she might have asked more questions, but she was eager to leave. Only after they were settled on the train, carpetbags safely stowed, had Pearl shown her the advertisement. At first Amanda had rejected the idea of marrying a stranger. The memory of Hugh’s cruel treatment of her still stung. She couldn’t imagine allowing another man to touch her, but as the train ride wore on she began to realize the advantages. A man advertising for a wife would not expect a great deal. He wouldn’t care about her past. He must be desperate and could not possibly reject her.

How wrong she’d been.

Again she had to hurry her step to catch up to Pearl, who was heading in the wrong direction. “If we’re working on that project, why aren’t we going to the school or the store?”

“Oh, I doubt you’ll work on it at either place, at least not until just before Christmas.” Pearl stopped in front of a weathered house that could use a good whitewashing. Even the shake shingles looked a bit threadbare. “Here we are.”

“At a stranger’s house? Who lives here?”

Pearl smiled coyly. “Let’s find out.”

Amanda gasped. “You’re going to barge in on strangers?”

Pearl only laughed as the opened the door. “Come in with me.” She grasped Amanda’s hand. “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Pearl dragged, and Amanda reluctantly followed, but the tug up the single step made her stumble. She looked down to catch her footing, and her hat slipped to one side. She frantically tried to straighten it before entering the house.

“Here we are,” Pearl called out as she tugged Amanda through the doorway.

It took a few seconds for Amanda’s eyes to adjust to the lower light. When they did, she found herself face-to-face with Garrett Decker.

* * *

Garrett should have known that Pearl would drag her friend along. Since the day the ladies arrived on the Milwaukee, Pearl had been promoting Amanda. None of that matchmaking had been subtle, but for good measure Roland constantly pointed it out.

“Oh!” Amanda gasped, quickly straightening the hat that had slipped slightly to the side. “I didn’t know.” Pink suffused her cheeks, not from the cold. “I would never have intruded.”

“Nonsense,” Pearl said, her gaze sweeping around the room. “You’ll need furnishings, of course, but first a good scrubbing is in order.” She crossed to the kitchen stove and examined the firebox. “Full of ashes. No doubt one of the workers left it this way. No matter, a little elbow grease will take care of that. Speaking of grease, this stove needs to be scraped. It smells rancid. When was the last time someone lived here? You can’t bring children into this house until it’s clean from top to bottom.”

Garrett’s head spun as Pearl continued her instructions. It didn’t help that Roland was snickering the whole time. As for Amanda, she looked even more confused and embarrassed than he was. For the first time since the fire, he felt for her. Clearly, Pearl had roped her into this without saying a word. Roland’s chortles meant he’d known exactly what his fiancée had been up to, yet he’d failed to mention that Pearl was bringing Amanda along. There was no doubt about it. He and Amanda had been thoroughly set up.

“Of course you will need curtains. With ruffles, don’t you think?” Pearl addressed that last to her friend, who stared dumbfounded.

“No ruffles,” Garrett snapped. A man had his limits.

Pearl ignored him. “Roland says you can have any of the scraps and discarded fabrics from the store. I saw some pretty lace in the bin.”

“No lace, either,” Garrett added.

Again Pearl charged ahead without seeming to hear him. “With Mrs. Calloway’s sewing machine, it won’t take any time at all to make curtains for all the windows.” She looked around. “There aren’t that many. Two in front and this one in the kitchen. I assume those are bedrooms.” She headed to each, poked her head in and came back with the report that each bedroom contained one window. “That’s only five windows, and these front ones are the largest. What color would go best?”

Considering the walls were a dingy, unplastered gray, the color didn’t much matter. Unless it was too bright.

“No bright colors,” Garrett stated.

Amanda finally found her voice. “I think that Mr. Decker and the children must approve the colors and design.”

Garrett was warming more to Amanda Porter by the minute.

Pearl blazed right ahead. “Of course. Perhaps you and Garrett should go through the available fabrics now.”

Garrett coughed. This was getting out of hand. “I have repairs to make on the house before we move in tomorrow. I don’t have time for curtains. That can wait.”

“You’ll think differently when the cold wind off the lake blows through those loose panes,” Pearl pointed out.

Garrett had already noted the gaps between the glass panes and the frame, not to mention the windows and the siding. He’d have to caulk those before the snow began in earnest, or they’d wake up to drifts across the floor.

“That’s why I have to get working on this place now,” Garrett stated firmly. “There’s a lot to do.”

“Like cleaning out the firebox,” Pearl pointed out.

Roland didn’t even attempt to hide his snicker.

That drew Pearl’s attention toward her fiancé. “We will make a work bee of this. Roland, you round up as many of the men as you can. I’ll get together the ladies. Garrett and Amanda can get the supplies and materials they need from the mercantile.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Roland answered crisply.

To Garrett’s surprise, Pearl’s take-charge attitude melted into laughter.

“But Pearl,” Amanda said, so softly that Garrett figured her friend wouldn’t hear her, especially since Pearl’s attention was fixed entirely on Roland. “You promised to help me...at the boardinghouse.” Every bit of rosiness had drained from her cheeks.

“Later,” Pearl assured her. “I won’t forget.”

Amanda nibbled on her lip, a girlish gesture that made her even more endearing. “But...”

“I promise.” Pearl linked her arm around Roland’s. “All right, we’ll get everyone together and meet back here in thirty minutes. We can turn this house into the perfect home for Isaac and Sadie.”

Garrett caught Amanda blinking back tears. Roland was right. She did care about his children. That made him feel a bit better about leaving them in her care for a few hours each day, but an instant later, those warm sentiments turned to annoyance. Pearl and Roland left, leaving him alone with Amanda.

She gave him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. Sometimes Pearl gets caught up in an idea, and nothing can make her change course.”

Amanda looked as uncomfortable as he felt. They’d both gotten caught in the web of Pearl’s plans.

He cleared his throat and shoved his hands into his coat pockets. For some reason he got tongue-tied around Amanda. He had to get out of here and into a public place. “I suppose we’d better get what we need before everyone shows up.”

Her face bloomed pink. “I suppose.” She glanced up at him. “I won’t make anything for the house that you wouldn’t approve.”

The tremble in her voice undid him. Amanda was nothing like Eva. His late wife would have begged and demanded until she got her way. Amanda only sought to please. Perhaps Roland was right, and Garrett had badly misjudged her.

He drew in a deep breath. “As long as there’s no ruffles or lace, I don’t care.” An idea crossed his mind. “Have Sadie pick out what she likes.”

Amanda visibly brightened, the hesitancy gone. “What a wonderful idea! She has an artist’s eye for color.”

Garrett couldn’t help it. Amanda’s obvious affection for his daughter melted the coldness in his heart.

He smiled.


Chapter Three (#ulink_b5028896-905d-533e-9d57-5955a155fb05)

Since cleaning the Cherry Street house took all day, Amanda never got her cooking lesson. She’d counted on helping Mrs. Calloway prepare Sunday dinner, until Louise Smythe invited Pearl, Fiona and her to join the Elders. Fiona had other plans, but Pearl accepted for herself and Amanda.

“But I’m needed to help with dinner,” Amanda had protested.

Unfortunately, Mrs. Calloway overheard and put an end to that thought. “Go. It’s only brisket and cabbage. Simple as can be.”

Nothing was simple when it came to cooking, but with Pearl and Mrs. Calloway insisting she accept the invitation, once again the opportunity to learn slipped away.

Louise expressed such gratitude that Amanda felt badly for wishing she could be elsewhere. “Captain and Mrs. Elder are desperate for company. She is too frail to go out-of-doors anymore, and he won’t leave her side.” Her friend blinked back a tear. “He’s so devoted to her. I wish...well, I can only hope to find someone like that.”

Poor Louise had lost her first husband in the War Between the States. Widowed and poverty-stricken, she had spent everything she had hoping that Garrett Decker would marry her. So had Amanda. As for Fiona, no one quite knew if the concerts were given from financial necessity or to hone her talents.

When Louise learned Garrett did not want to marry, she took the position caring for Mrs. Elder in their home and found a perfect match for her love of books in Mr. Elder’s extensive library.

That afternoon they gathered around the Elders’ dinner table and listened to Captain Elder’s tales from when he’d captained a ship on the Great Lakes. Mrs. Elder smiled at each story, though she must have heard them a thousand times, and encouraged her husband to continue.

He said with a twinkle in his eye, “Adeline indulges me.” He leaned over and pecked her on the temple, drawing a playful scolding. “That’s why I married her, that and her walnut tarts.”

Mrs. Elder giggled like a young girl, her adoration wiping away the years for a moment. “Billy is such a tease.”

Amanda’s heart ached for such a close relationship, one that weathered the trials of time. Once she had dreamed of it with Hugh. He had been so attentive. Compliments flowed from his lips each time they met, and she began to believe his professions of love in spite of the vast difference between them. He was a man of society, and she an orphan who was little better than a maid in her foster family’s home. He told her she was more beautiful than her foster sister, Lena, whom the Chatsworths believed he would soon court. When Hugh said that he would rather marry Amanda, she took it as a proposal, only to discover that his real purpose was to ruin her so she would become his mistress.

She shuddered at the memory of that day and the liberties he had taken in spite of her protests, tears and struggles. If not for Mrs. Brighton’s timely intervention...

“Are you warm enough, dear?” Mrs. Elder asked. “I have plenty of shawls if you need one.”

Amanda pulled her thoughts from the terrible past. “Oh! No, thank you. I am quite warm.”

By the time she and Pearl left, daylight was slipping away. Soon darkness would shroud the landscape, just as memory had darkened Amanda’s spirits.

“What’s wrong?” Pearl asked. “You’ve been quiet since dessert was served.”

Amanda sighed. She could not reveal to anyone the depth of humiliation and shame she’d endured at Hugh’s hands, so she focused on the other disappointment of the day. “It’s too late to learn to cook.”

“Nonsense. I can still show you the basics.”

“But Mrs. Calloway said anything we make had to be available for the guests at the boardinghouse. There aren’t any more meals today. You know that.”

“We could make rolls for tomorrow morning.”

Amanda shook her head. “Garrett asked me to make supper, not breakfast. No one eats sweet rolls for supper.”

Pearl hugged her around the shoulders as they approached the boardinghouse, with its cheery pine wreath on the front door and glowing windows. “Then I will help you fix supper tomorrow. A stew will be simple enough.”

“Will there be enough time after school?”

“Of course. Do you know what food he has on hand?”

“How would I know that?” Amanda’s mouth went dry. “Oh, dear, I’m going to fail on the very first day.”

Pearl laughed. “No, you won’t. I’ll be right there helping you. Besides, there’s more to keeping house than cooking. As soon as you finish the curtains, he’ll see how talented you are with a needle.”

“He already knows I can sew. I made the dress and matching doll dress for Sadie’s birthday.”

“That’s right. I forgot.” Pearl slowed her step for just a moment. “I’m sure he hasn’t forgotten, though. Sadie wouldn’t let him. She’s so excited that you’re going to take care of their new house. Trust me. Her approval will go a long way toward winning over Garrett’s heart.”

Amanda wasn’t so sure. Garrett Decker was a practical man. Like Captain Elder, he would appreciate a woman who could cook, especially since he’d listed that as one of her duties.

Pearl climbed the boardinghouse steps.

Amanda followed her friend. “Don’t let me down.”

Pearl smiled. “Don’t worry.”

Amanda couldn’t help but worry. Her whole future depended on satisfying Garrett’s expectations.

* * *

With all that help, Garrett got the house ready one day and moved into it the next. On Monday, he set to work preparing to build the ship. Stockton had left plans with him. Garrett called the best millwrights to his side and laid out the plans on the worktable that he used to repair broken saws and machinery.

“Mr. Stockton wants a new schooner.” Garrett explained each element of the plans, especially the length, breadth and draft of the vessel.

Sawyer Evans squinted at the drawings. Even near the window, the light wasn’t good, thanks to the thick coating of sawdust on the panes. “He thinks we can build that? I’ve never built a ship before.”

“I have.”

That brought Garrett the men’s respect. After answering a dozen questions about how and when and where, he outlined his plan to build the launching ways and cradle near the dock that had been built for the glassworks that Roland had planned. First Garrett had to secure his brother’s permission. That shouldn’t be a problem. November’s fire had destroyed the stockpiled building materials and chased away the investors for the glassworks, setting the project back indefinitely.

“The river is deep there,” Garrett explained. “There’s plenty of room for a broadside launch. We’ll build the hull on a launching cradle that can be pulled away with the steam tractor when the schooner is ready.”

He sketched his ideas on a blank sheet of paper. The men had a lot more questions and a bit of skepticism. Garrett answered them all, and soon the group seemed less apprehensive.

“With decent weather, we can launch it by early summer, after the first logging rush of the spring.”

Sawyer whistled and shook his head. “That’ll be a stretch. How many of us is Stockton planning to employ?”

Garrett eyed the men. Many workers had left already, now that the fall rush was tailing off. These would soon follow, returning in late winter for the spring rush. “Any who will stay.”

That livened up the discussion and the desire to get started. By nightfall, they’d selected the timbers for the ways and keel blocks. There were enough stout posts on hand to begin driving them into the ground for the ways the next day.

“The ground’s at about the right slope,” Garrett said at the workday’s end, “but we’ll need to clear away the brush and do a little leveling at the water’s edge. We can take the tractor up there tomorrow.”

On the walk home, he mentally went through the checklist of what needed to be done next. He tromped up the inner staircase behind the store, barely noticing that the cookstove was cool. The apartment upstairs was dark as night and dead quiet.

“What’s going on? Sadie? Isaac?”

The echo in the room sent a chill down his spine until Garrett recalled that he and his children didn’t live here anymore. He growled with frustration at himself as he walked back outside. At least Roland hadn’t caught him going to the wrong house. He’d never hear the end of it.

That’s what he got for thinking about work when he should be directing his energies toward his children. It was time to forget work and find out how Amanda had fared in her first day on the job.

Garrett heard the giggling before he got to the front door. It felt strange walking here, and it had been even stranger using his old furniture last night when they’d moved in. Pearl had instructed the men from the mill to drag the stuff in Saturday. Even though Garrett was their supervisor, they wouldn’t go against Miss Pearl. Roland was going to have his hands full with that woman.

Garrett had stared at the sofa and chairs last night, unwilling to sit on them. Sadie and Isaac had no trouble. They’d run around the house, exploring every nook and cranny. Sadie’s cat, Cocoa, had clawed its way into the beds and the chests of clothing that still needed to be unpacked. The wind picked up overnight, and it didn’t take long to find the holes he’d missed when trying to shore up the gaps Saturday. Tonight he’d attempt to caulk those he could find in the dark, if he could get the children to settle down.

Judging from the shrieks and giggles coming from indoors, that wouldn’t be easy.

He climbed the single step to the stoop and sniffed the air. He should smell supper. Hmm. The wind must be blowing from the wrong direction.

Another giggle gave him an idea. Through the window he could see Sadie and Isaac bent over something in the middle of the table. He waited until all was quiet and then sprang through the door.

“Surprise!”

Sadie shrieked before realizing it was her pa. Cocoa scooted off the table and disappeared into the children’s bedroom. Sadie then ran to him, arms outstretched. Garrett scooped her up and she clung to his neck, laughing. “You scared me, Papa.”

Though Isaac had yelped, he soon put on the stoic expression of a little boy trying to be a man. “Not me. I knew it was you all along.”

“Sure you did.” Garrett ruffled his son’s hair. “You’re always in control.”

He glanced down at the table, where a big, black beetle was crawling around. That’s what they’d been so entranced by? Or maybe Cocoa had been curious, and they were watching to see what the kitten would do next.

“You brought a bug in the house?” he asked.

“We found it crawling on the boardwalk,” Sadie said.

“It came out ’cause of the sun,” Isaac informed him as he scooped up the bug. “Beetles and flies like it warm.”

Garrett couldn’t deny that, but this biological experiment was bound to upset a grown woman. “You’ll have to put it back outside, son.”

Isaac grudgingly obeyed, setting it just off the stoop before coming back inside.

“You could have taken it farther from the house,” Garrett said.

Isaac stuck out his chin. “Maybe he wants to be warm, too.”

Garrett could only sigh. His son was growing an independent streak. At least his daughter still depended on him. Speaking of which, one housekeeper should have appeared by now. He looked around the room. Nothing was on the stove, though it was clearly lit. He sniffed. No smell of food. “Where is Miss Amanda?”

“Miss Mana went to get supper,” Sadie informed him.

“Shh! You weren’t supposed to tell.” Isaac’s frown etched deep lines in his young forehead. “It’s supposed to be a secret.”

Sadie started to cry and pressed her face against Garrett’s shoulder.

“There now,” he managed to say, though he was steaming mad. Amanda had left the children alone? The only reason he’d hired a housekeeper was so someone would be at home to watch Sadie and Isaac. First, Amanda had lost track of Sadie during the fire last month that had destroyed the school building. Now, she’d left both of them alone in a house with a lit stove and a black beetle.

The door cracked open, and Amanda backed into the room, carrying a large basket in both hands. “I’m back. I hope I’m not too late.”

Garrett unclenched his jaw and set down Sadie. “It’s time we had a talk, Miss Porter.”

* * *

Amanda nearly lost her grip on the basket. Her knees wobbled as she recalled what Pearl had told her to say if Garrett reached the house before she returned.

She hefted the basket onto the table, the delicious smells of beef stew and fresh-baked rolls emanating from inside. “I brought supper.”

She did feel a bit guilty about not making the meal. Thankfully, Mrs. Calloway had enough left from supper there to send this pot of stew with her.

“Sadie, could you set the table? Isaac, please wash up.”

Garrett cleared his throat. “Wipe the tabletop, too.”

“Why?” Amanda eyed her employer, trying to figure out if his anger had diminished.

Instead of answering her, Garrett turned to his son.

Isaac shrugged. “We found a huge beetle.”

“A beetle?” she gasped. “Where is it?”

“Outdoors,” Garrett informed her.

She pressed a hand to her midsection. “What a relief.”

“Don’t you like bugs, Miss Amanda?” Isaac asked.

She shuddered. “Not so much.” The outbreaks of fleas and chiggers at the orphanage had kept her itching and scratching. “They belong outside.”

Isaac fetched a rag from the dry sink and ran it quickly over the center of the table, while Sadie set the cups and plates in place.

“Are you eating with us, Miss Mana?” the little girl asked.

“No,” Garrett answered for her.

Amanda held her breath. The stew the family shared tonight was her portion, plus the little bit left after the boardinghouse guests finished.

Garrett looked her in the eye. “Miss Amanda needs to return home.” He motioned toward the door.

Her stomach rumbled. She hoped no one heard. No matter how strong Pearl said she must be, Amanda could not seem to stop the trembling that began deep inside and ended up in her hands. She clenched them tightly so Garrett wouldn’t notice. “Let me at least serve supper.”

“That’s not necessary.” Garrett’s gaze, darker than his brother’s, never left her face.

She could not breathe, could not think, could not move.

“I would like a word with you outside, Miss Porter. Children, you can begin.”

“But we haven’t blessed the food,” Amanda cried out.

He stiffened. After getting the children in their chairs, he said a quick blessing and then ushered her out into the cold.

Amanda’s heart pounded so hard it felt like it would leap out of her chest.

“I asked you to look after the children,” he said.

“I was only gone a few minutes, and they were quite safe. I told them to stay in the house.”

Even before she finished, she could tell he wasn’t hearing a word she said. Garrett Decker had already made up his mind.

“I’m not interested in excuses.”

That eliminated telling him about the lack of food in the house. He would probably insist she ought to have taken the children with her to the mercantile while she purchased what was needed. The truth wouldn’t help. Even if the larder had been full, she couldn’t have cooked anything. Pearl had failed to gain Mrs. Calloway’s permission to give lessons last night, and the boardinghouse proprietress’s brief instructions this morning had left Amanda even more mystified.

She swallowed the last shreds of pride she had left. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“No, it won’t.” He went back into the house and shut the door in her face.


Chapter Four (#ulink_06d6d24f-d455-512f-bf0a-3f8d4b32fd9c)

“Did Garrett say you were dismissed?” Pearl asked Amanda as they dressed the following morning.

“Not in so many words.” Amanda glanced in the mirror. Her color was pale after a night of hunger and tearful prayer, and the plum coloring of the dress did little to hide that fact. “But he did say I wouldn’t have a chance to make the same mistake again. Was it really so awful leaving Isaac and Sadie alone for ten minutes? Isaac said his papa and uncle leave him in charge all the time.”

“Mmm-hmm. There can be different standards for relatives.”

Amanda thought of the Chatsworths. The lines of distinction were clearly marked. Their daughter stood at the top. Amanda ranked a distant second or even third. At times the housekeeper and butler seemed to carry more weight than she did. That’s why she’d begged Mrs. Brighton never to divulge what had happened that night with Hugh. The kindly housekeeper promised to hold it in confidence, but watching Hugh announce his engagement to Lena still hurt. He had never seen Amanda as an equal. None of them had.

“I suppose you’re right,” she admitted, pulling her thoughts back to last night’s painful events, “but what was I to do? The children were hungry, and there was only oatmeal and crackers in the house.”

“Did you tell Garrett that?”

“He didn’t give me a chance.” His refusal to listen still churned her stomach. “He said he didn’t want to hear any excuses.”

“Completely unreasonable.” Pearl tied a length of ribbon into a bow around the high collar of her dress. “And not like Garrett. He’s generally quite practical and slow to speak. He must have been upset about something else and took it out on you.”

Amanda sank to the bed. She could never win him over, least of all get the job back, if he was disposed to dislike her. “Then what do I do?”

“You march right back to the house after school and carry on as if nothing happened.”

“I do?” Even after all these years, Amanda was stunned by her friend’s audacity. “But he dismissed me.”

“No, he didn’t. You said yourself that he simply told you that you wouldn’t make the same mistake, which of course you won’t, since you’re going to stock the larder and learn to cook something simple.”

Pearl made it sound so simple, but she wasn’t taking into account Garrett’s animosity toward Amanda.

“What if he shouts at me? What if he tells me to leave and never come back?”

“Then you’ll have your answer.” Pearl jabbed a hairpin into her topknot. “His loss, if you ask me. He’ll have a difficult time finding anyone else for the job, and there’s no one in all of Singapore who can compare to you when it comes to keeping house.”

“But I still don’t know how to cook.”

“That’s why you are going to stay here through the midday meal so you can learn from Mrs. Calloway. She’s promised to take more time showing you how to do everything.”

“Don’t you need me at school?”

Pearl laughed. “I think I can manage for half a day.”

“I’m sorry.” Amanda blanched. “I didn’t mean to imply that I’m indispensable.”

“But you are.” Pearl gently tugged her to her feet. “I couldn’t manage more than a few hours without your help.” She grinned. “Don’t tell the school committee members, though, or they’ll hire you instead of me next year.”

Pearl always managed to lift her spirits. “Don’t be silly. You’re the one doing the teaching. I just help keep everyone occupied.”

“So they can learn.” Pearl opened the door to their room. “Let’s go down to breakfast. It smells like Mrs. Calloway fried bacon this morning.”

* * *

That morning Garrett’s men made great progress cutting the timbers for the launching ways and cradle. Before they could put them in place, the land by the river would have to be cleared. Since Roland owned that land, it meant getting his brother’s permission.

With the weather holding fair, Garrett decided they’d best get the location ready before a storm rolled in and blanketed the ground with snow or the temperatures dropped and froze the ground.

During the lunch break, he stopped in the mercantile. His brother stood at the counter, writing in one of the ledgers.

“Roland, I need to talk to you about something.”

Roland looked up. “You don’t have to use the front door like a customer just because you’re living down the street now.”

The grin told Garrett that his brother was teasing. That’s the way they communicated. Each tried to best the other. Roland won most battles of wit, while Garrett could take his brother in a physical challenge any day. That didn’t mean he couldn’t throw back a decent retort.

“Last I checked, I am a customer here. And I expect to be treated like one.”

Roland’s grin broadened. “Then you arrived at just the right time. You can sign for the purchases Amanda is making.”

“The what?” Garrett had left early this morning without quite figuring out what he was going to do about that situation. After the way he’d reacted last night, he figured she would never return to work for him.

“Purchases.” Roland motioned toward a large basket beside the ledger. Garrett recognized that basket. It was the one Amanda had used to bring the delicious beef stew last night. Every bite had stuck in his throat. He owed her an apology, but...

“Purchases? What kind of purchases?”

“Food, Mr. Decker.” The formerly gentle and quiet Amanda Porter placed some tins in the basket. “Your children need more than crackers and porridge to eat.” She looked him in the eye, more like Pearl than the shy beauty he was used to seeing.

He opened his mouth and then clapped it shut. What could he say to that? His children did need to eat, and he had neglected to fully stock the kitchen, a fact that he’d noticed at breakfast this morning. He cleared his throat and hoped Amanda didn’t see the heat creeping up his neck. “Of course. Well done, Miss Porter.”

The faintest smile graced her lips and sent his spirits catapulting upward just as quickly as they’d gone down.

Her attention returned to the basket of food. “I can only cook plain food. I hope that will be good enough.”

But the stew hadn’t been plain, it had been delicious. With a start, he realized she must not have cooked it. She must have gotten it from someone else, most likely the boardinghouse.

“The stew.” He halted, unsure what to say.

She did not look up at him. “Mrs. Calloway’s efforts.”

“I owe her then.”

Amanda shook her head. “It was left over.”

“But how, when there are a half dozen guests and the Calloways?” Before he finished saying the words, he knew.

The portion he and his children had eaten was hers. She had gone hungry last night while he dined. Moreover, he’d accused her of neglect, when he was the one who had neglected his family. He owed her more than an apology, but at the moment he couldn’t think of what to say.

He walked to her side. Roland scooted out from behind the counter on the pretense of checking for some cornmeal in the back. Anyone could see that the bin was half-full.

Garrett waited until his brother was gone.

Amanda fidgeted with the handle of the basket. “I hope I didn’t overstep my bounds.”

“No.” He cleared his throat again. “Not at all. I did. I’m sorry. For last night. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. The wrong ones.”

Her head bobbed, as if she was gathering her composure, and the ribbons caught in her dark curls. He had to fight the impulse to lift them free.

“It’s all right,” she whispered. “I should go. I promised to help Pearl at school this afternoon. If you can sign...”

He turned the ledger and scrawled his signature on the line. But that didn’t get rid of the aching guilt. “I’m sorry. I hope we can start over again.”

She lifted her tremulous gaze to him, and he was struck again by the similarity of her eyes to those of Eva. If Eva had ever given him such a look, it had been an act so she could get her way. Not Amanda.

“I hope so, too.” Her faint smile wavered.

“I can help you carry that basket to the house.”

“Thank you, but I can manage. It sounded like you wanted to speak to your brother.”

Garrett was ashamed of himself. Amanda thought only of everyone else’s needs. He could kick himself for being such a fool yesterday. His children were hungry, and she’d responded the only way she knew how. Instead of thanking her, he’d accused and blamed her. He would change. Next time he would give her the benefit of doubt. He owed her that much.

* * *

Making hash looked easy when Mrs. Calloway demonstrated it. First Amanda needed to chop up everything. Then she needed to cook it in a big, heavy skillet. It took a bit of searching with Sadie and Isaac before she found the knives, a big wooden spoon and the skillet.

Peeling the potatoes had proved challenging, but she managed to get most of the skin off without cutting herself. The onion made her eyes water. The salt pork proved easiest of all.

It took a while for the stove to get hot enough. Apparently Garrett banked the fire before sending the children off to school and going to work. That meant an icy cold house and stove, but by the time she’d stowed all the purchases and chopped the ingredients for the hash, perspiration rolled off her forehead.

Now which went in the pan first? Amanda searched her memory but couldn’t remember. She took a guess. The potatoes were hardest. She seemed to remember Mrs. Calloway saying they’d take the longest to cook. She dumped them into the hot skillet first.

“It’s my turn,” Sadie cried out from the bearskin rug, where they were sitting to play jacks.

“No, it’s not,” Isaac retorted. “My turn isn’t over yet.”

“Yes, it is. Miss Mana, tell Isaac to let me play.”

“Everyone needs to have a turn,” Amanda said.

“She just had a turn,” Isaac insisted. “And now she wants my turn, too.”

At school, Pearl would send one student to one corner and the other to the opposite corner to think about how they ought to behave. At the Chatsworths’ house, a dispute had been settled with a few whacks of the strap on her behind. Amanda could not use either method. She wasn’t their teacher or their mother.

Instead she joined them and knelt so she could look each child in the eye. “Is this the way your father would want you to behave?”

“He doesn’t care about anything but work,” Isaac said, his little jaw stiff but his lip quivering.

Amanda’s heart about broke. She would have to speak to Garrett about spending more time with his children.

“Papa loves us,” Sadie cried out. She grabbed her old rag doll, the one Amanda had repaired soon after arriving, and hugged it tight.

“Of course he does,” Amanda said. “He’s a busy man. All fathers are.” At least Mr. Chatsworth had always seemed busy. He was gone long hours, sometimes until midnight. She couldn’t remember much about her real father. He and her mother had died when she was five, but the tiny fragments she could recall always teemed with their love for her and for her brother, Jacob. Jake. A pang shot through her at the thought of her missing brother. They were separated after their parents’ deaths. She went to their grandmother, while he was sent to their uncle’s farm. For reasons unknown, Jacob ran away and was never found. Someday she would find him. She must find him. No tragedy could break family bonds. That applied in her case and for Isaac and Sadie. “Your papa loves you both dearly. I know he does.”

“Then why doesn’t he listen to us?” Isaac demanded.

“I’m sure he does,” Amanda said.

“If he listened to us, he’d at least try to get married again.”

Oh, dear. Amanda had no idea how to answer that statement, especially since Sadie had named her as the preferred new mama.

She began carefully. “Marriage isn’t something to be rushed into.”

Isaac’s eyes widened, and his lips formed an O.

Amanda frowned. Her statement wasn’t that difficult to understand. “Your papa wants to find the right woman to, uh, be your mother.” Surely her cheeks were bright red.

Instead of agreeing or disagreeing, Isaac pointed toward the kitchen.

Amanda turned to see smoke pouring from the skillet.

Oh no! She scrambled to her feet, grabbed a towel and quickly pulled the skillet from the stove before the whole thing started on fire. She carried the smoking pan to the worktable and poked at the potatoes. Burned. And stuck to the pan.

Oh, dear. Her first attempt at cooking had come to ruin. She swallowed hard, trying to think of what to do. Did she have enough time to start over?

The door flew open.

“I’m home!” Garrett stepped inside and sniffed. “What’s on fire?”

Oh, dear. There was no hiding this fiasco.


Chapter Five (#ulink_6ebb199d-c16a-53de-a213-5af05499f0e9)

“Supper,” Isaac declared in answer to Garrett’s question.

It didn’t take long for him to confirm his son’s explanation. Amanda stood at the worktable with a smoking skillet of something burned. The contents were too charred to identify.

“Supper?” he echoed. “You mean the food you just...”

Amanda cringed, and he let the thought trail off. He had vowed earlier this afternoon to give her the benefit of doubt.

“Is it salvageable?” he asked instead.

She poked a wooden spoon at the incinerated contents. “I don’t think so.” She looked stricken yet determined. “I’m sorry, Mr. Decker. You can deduct the cost of the potatoes from my wages.”

“Potatoes.” He breathed out in relief. It was only potatoes, one of the least expensive items she could have burned.

“Is there a fire, Miss Mana?” Poor Sadie looked terrified.

The lady dropped to her knees, the burned potatoes forgotten. “No, there isn’t. I just scorched the potatoes, like holding an iron too long on a piece of fabric.”

Garrett wouldn’t call those quite the same, but his daughter accepted the explanation.

“You can hold Baby.” Sadie offered Amanda the doll.

“Thank you, Sadie, but she needs you more than I need her. A little hug will take care of everything.”

His daughter obliged, hugging Amanda an extra long time.

Amanda finally patted her back. “You did such a lovely job setting the table. Why don’t you tell your father what you learned in school while I take care of the mess and cook up some supper?”

Garrett had to admire the way Amanda directed Sadie’s attention away from the smoke and onto other topics. Nevertheless, while Sadie described her school day in minute detail, he watched Amanda carry the skillet outdoors to dump the ashes and then return and set the pan on the hot stove. She hesitated over two piles of chopped food. One looked like bacon or salt pork. The other appeared to be onions. She finally put one bit of onion in the skillet. It popped and hopped out.

The fire must have disconcerted her. He was about to suggest cooking the pork first when she began to add it to the skillet. While it cooked, she chopped a couple more potatoes and added them to the pork, finishing off with the onions.

Other than the smoke, which hadn’t yet cleared the room, it smelled good. When she placed the hot skillet on the table without a trivet or rag underneath, he grabbed a towel from the cupboard.

“Let’s put this under the pan,” he suggested. “To protect the tabletop.” He could imagine what a mark that pan had put in the varnish.

She blinked and then blushed while lifting the skillet. “I’m sorry. I got a bit discombobulated.”

“A little smoke can do that.” He glanced in the skillet and his stomach stopped rumbling. She hadn’t gotten all the burned potatoes out of the pan.

He took a deep breath. Give her a chance. Give her the benefit of the doubt. After all, Amanda was the only woman in town both available and willing to take the job, and she was good with the children.

“Shall we say grace?” He bowed his head.

Isaac followed, but Sadie stared at Amanda. “Aren’t you going to eat, too?”

Garrett didn’t realize she was still standing halfway between the kitchen and the table. He hadn’t considered how awkward it might be to have her watch them eat just so she could clean up afterward.

“Yes, please join us.” It was the least he could do after making her go hungry the night before.

She hesitated. “Are you certain?”

“Yes.” He had to speak firmly so she wouldn’t back out of this. “Please sit before the food gets cold.”

She dropped into the fourth chair. “Let’s hold hands while praying.”

“Hold hands?” Garrett didn’t like that. He didn’t like that at all. “We’re asking blessing on the food, not playing a child’s game.”

Her color heightened. “I, well, it’s something Pearl and I liked to do back in the...” Her voice trailed off.

“Back where?” Isaac demanded.

Judging from the way she’d blanched, Garrett suspected she’d been about to say the orphanage. Roland had told him about Pearl, how she’d been raised in an orphanage. It made sense that her childhood friend had also grown up there.

“Back when we were your age,” she said.

Before his son could point out that she hadn’t exactly answered the question, Garrett told them to fold their hands and bow their heads for the blessing. By the time he finished the overly long list of things for which they were grateful, Isaac had forgotten to point out Amanda’s misdirected answer.

Amanda stood. “Allow me to dish up the food.”

“No, I can do it.” Garrett’s hand met hers on the spoon, and a peculiar sensation made him look up at her. The jolt reminded him of the stingers he sometimes got from the machinery. Except this wasn’t unpleasant. Judging from the way her eyes widened, she’d felt it, too.

She yanked back her hand. “Thank you.” It came out in a whisper.

Garrett cleared his throat. “Hand me your plate, Sadie. Ladies first.”

Sadie giggled. “I’m a girl, not a lady.”

“Of course you are,” Amanda said. “You don’t have to be as old as me to be a lady. Ladyship is more about one’s manners and grace.”

She proceeded to explain table manners to Sadie, though Garrett noticed that his son was listening, too. “Hold your fork like this.” She demonstrated.

Sadie attempted and dropped the fork. “I can’t.”

“It takes practice, like learning sums. Keep trying, and soon you’ll have it.”

“That’s not the way men eat,” Isaac insisted. “A real man holds on to his fork so no one can take it away from him. Right, Pa?”

Garrett quickly shifted the way he held the fork. Eva had always complained that he acted uncivilized at the table. He’d stubbornly refused to change, even saying that nonsense about needing to hold on to his fork. True, Roland had snatched a fork from him once when they were children and refused to give it back, but that had been roundly reprimanded by their mother. Garrett never dreamed his resistance to Eva’s attempts to change him would influence their son.

He cleared his throat. “A gentleman holds his fork like Miss Amanda is showing you.”

“I don’t want to be a gentleman. I want to be like you.”

Amanda’s eyebrows shot up.

Garrett felt both pleasure that his son wanted to emulate him and distress that he had set such a poor example. “Well, from now on, I’m going to eat like a gentleman.”

Amanda smiled, and warmth spread through him. She approved. That was amazing enough, but even more startling was how much he enjoyed that approval. What was happening to him?

He took a bite of the hash and choked.

“What is it?” She looked horrified.

He swallowed without chewing more than necessary and washed down the rest with half of the cup of water in front of him.

“It’s...different.”

She took a small taste, and the expression of horror intensified.

“It’s salty,” Isaac pointed out.

“Thank you, son.” Garrett motioned for him to say nothing further while Amanda guzzled water.

Sadie, always a dainty eater, picked out little pieces of onion and ate them as if there was nothing wrong with the hash.

Amanda recovered. “Oh, dear. I added too much salt, but Mrs. Calloway said everything needs salt.”

“Except perhaps salt pork,” Garrett said.

She looked mortified. “I’m sorry. I—I don’t know how to fix it.”

Garrett had learned a few tricks from those days when Roland was busy and he had to cook something for the children, mostly because he made a lot of mistakes. He grabbed the skillet and stood. “We’ll dilute it.”

* * *

We? Amanda rose and set her napkin on the table. Garrett Decker was helping her?

She followed him the few steps to the kitchen. Her face must be flaming red. It certainly felt that way. How could she have made such a blunder? Mrs. Calloway had suggested she taste before serving. With the fiasco over the burned potatoes and Sadie’s distress, Amanda had forgotten that all important tip.

Now she stood beside Garrett at the kitchen worktable. It was such a small surface that their arms nearly touched.

“Get a bowl from the cupboard,” he commanded.

When she picked out a soup bowl, he sent her back for a serving bowl. Then he scraped the salty hash into it.

“Chop two more potatoes,” he said. “Did you get any other vegetables, like carrots?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Good. We’ll add four of those, too. Chop them fine so they cook quickly.”

She could figure out that much, but considering her record tonight, she didn’t think it wise to mention.

Meanwhile, the children watched every move with wide eyes. Isaac crawled onto his chair and leaned across the table to whisper something to Sadie. She giggled. Dear me, even the children found her efforts humorous.

“Isaac, bring your plates here. Then bring ours.” Garrett then added the contents to the bowl on the worktable.

Amanda finished peeling and chopping the potatoes and carrots. Garrett added a little of the hash to the skillet and then had her add the raw vegetables. When they had gotten tender, he added a bit more of the hash and stirred it all together. After it heated, he had her taste the mixture.

“A little bland,” she reported.

He added more of the salty hash and then a little more until it tasted just right.

“How did you learn to do that?” she marveled.

“From experience. The best teacher.” He smiled at her. “The same thing happened to me once.”

His words were intended to comfort, but his smile went a lot further. She had hardly ever seen Garrett Decker smile. He was the sorrowing widower, never pleased with anyone or anything. Even in church or when escorting Fiona to the hotel dining room, he hadn’t smiled. Only with his children did he smile. It changed him so much, from a rigid, dour perfectionist to a compassionate man.

Amanda breathed out. “You have a beautiful smile.”

It instantly vanished. “Everyone’s hungry. Let’s eat.”

* * *

Amanda reveled in what had happened long after she returned to the boardinghouse and settled into bed. Her mind whirled round and round, going over the events in minute detail. Garrett hadn’t yelled at her. He’d worked with her. He’d shown her consideration and compassion. He’d granted her leniency. He’d smiled at her.

The sheets being cold, she blew on her icy fingers and wiggled her toes, trying to warm them.

“Could you be still?” Pearl grumbled. “I’m trying to get some sleep.”

For a second Amanda tried to imagine not having to share a room and a bed with her friend, who was every bit as dear as a sister. No one to complain when she moved around in bed. No one who knew every little thing about her. Just like it had been at the Chatsworths. She shuddered. Pearl meant everything to her. With her married and gone, Amanda would no longer have someone at the ready to hear about every moment of her day and give her advice and consolation.

“I will miss you,” she whispered.

“Me, too. Now go to sleep.” Pearl’s muffled tones came from beneath the pillow that she’d jammed over her head.

“I’m sure Roland will want to talk at night, too.”

Pearl rolled over and emerged from beneath the pillow. “What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why are you pestering me?”

“I can’t sleep after what happened today.”

“Oh?” Now she’d caught Pearl’s attention. “What happened today?”

Amanda hedged, not quite ready to explain everything. “Did you know that Garrett has a lovely smile?”

“Hmm. I suppose so.”

“He should smile more often.”

“Why don’t you tell him, and let me get some sleep?” Pearl plunked the pillow over her head again.

Amanda quieted, but she couldn’t imagine going up to Garrett and telling him to smile more. Just mentioning the smile had turned it to a frown, as if that smile had been in error. “He doesn’t want to hear it.”

Pearl said nothing.

Amanda glanced in her direction, but in the darkness couldn’t tell if her friend was sleeping. Her thoughts drifted back to the hours with Garrett. He’d been kind today, so different from the day before.

“I made a mess of supper tonight,” she whispered. “I burned it terribly and then added too much salt. It tasted awful, but he didn’t yell, like he did yesterday. He told me he’d done the very same thing.”

“He did?” Pearl slid out from under the pillow, definitely more interested.

“He did. Like all was forgiven. He’s never been like that with me before. Oh, he liked to talk about Sadie and Isaac, ask about school and all that, but never take my feelings into consideration. It was almost like he wouldn’t look at me. Not today.” Amanda sighed. “Did you ever notice that his eyes are more gray than blue?”

“What does that have to do with anything? Roland’s eyes are blue, too. They’re brothers.”

“Yes, but Garrett’s eyes are grayer. And his hair is much lighter, with that bit of red in it. He and Roland don’t look much alike.”

Pearl groaned. “This is what’s keeping you awake?”

Amanda ignored her friend. “And his hair has this way of sticking out like a little boy’s. It takes all my self-control not to smooth down the cowlicks.”

“I can imagine how he would react if you did that.”

“Definitely not with a smile.” Amanda giggled. “I think this new job will turn out well, as long as I don’t let the children distract me too much.”

“Then it’s hopeless.”

“Hopeless?”

“I’ve never known you not to be distracted by children.”

Amanda heaved a sigh. “It’s a fault of mine.”

Pearl squeezed her shoulder. “It’s a testament to your caring nature. I’m glad Garrett finally noticed that. Maybe he’s finally coming around to see the treasure you are. Fiona will regret turning down the position.”

“Does she still have her cap set on Garrett?”

“You can be sure of it. She asked if she could help with the stable that I asked Garrett to build for the children’s nativity play.”

“The what?”

“Garrett didn’t tell you about it?”

“No,” Amanda said hesitantly. “Was he supposed to?”

“I asked Roland to make sure Garrett talked to you so you two could figure out what needed to be done.”

At first Amanda wondered why Pearl didn’t just tell her herself, but the answer was obvious. Pearl was trying to get her and Garrett together as much as possible. But having her help build a stable made no sense. “Talk to me? Why? I can’t use a hammer.”

“No, but you can decorate the stable and make costumes for the children.”

“Decorate it? I don’t think the stable that Joseph and Mary used was decorated.”

“I’m thinking more along the lines of toy animals. You know, the lambs and the sheep and so forth.”

Amanda gasped. “That’s a lot of fabric and a lot of something or other to stuff them.”

“It’s been so warm and dry of late that I’m thinking we could make a day of it and gather dried grasses. Maybe invite Roland, Garrett and the children. Roland already told me that he will donate some old flour sacks and muslin. It’ll be wonderful.”

Amanda wasn’t so certain, but the idea of working anywhere near Garrett overcame her hesitation. Perhaps he was beginning to forgive her for losing track of Sadie during the fire. Perhaps he could begin to trust her. A Christmas nativity would be lovely, especially with the children involved.

“What are the children going to do?”

“Play the roles of the shepherds, angels and Mary and Joseph.”

Amanda could guess who Pearl had pegged for the parents of Jesus, but she had to ask, anyway. “Who’s playing Mary and Joseph?”

Pearl murmured, “Sadie and Isaac. It will help convince Garrett to build the stable. Now go to sleep. I have a busy day of school tomorrow, and I’m expecting you to help out.”

Amanda couldn’t begin to think of sleeping. Her mind whirled with everything that had happened today and would happen over the coming weeks. Pearl’s wedding. Pearl moving to the rooms above the store. Amanda’s new job. Garrett warming to her. So much joy.

The only thing missing was her brother. When she’d learned this autumn that a lumberjack named Jake was working upriver, she’d thought at once of her lost brother. The man fit Jacob’s description. She’d waited day after day for this lumberjack to arrive in Singapore with the last logs rafted down the river, but he’d headed for the camps up north instead. That opportunity had slipped away.

Perhaps this one with Garrett wouldn’t. Now they would work together on the nativity play.

No doubt Pearl and Roland had arranged this “project” in order to get Amanda and Garrett together. After today, that didn’t seem like such a hopeless prospect. Garrett was beginning to treat her with compassion and respect, something she enjoyed but was having trouble accepting. If she did a great job with not only the curtains for his house but also the costumes for the nativity play, maybe he’d forget about Fiona and begin considering her for a wife. Maybe. Just maybe. As long as he never learned about her past.


Chapter Six (#ulink_e2462ea6-6fb3-5dbf-bda5-1d84e1228424)

Saturdays gave Amanda more time to work on her sewing projects. For the last week, she’d cut and basted and sewed Pearl’s wedding dress in every spare moment. By this afternoon, she switched to making Garrett’s curtains, in case Pearl returned to the boardinghouse early.

Curtains should take no time at all, but the treadle sewing machine was finicky to operate. The bobbin kept snarling, and she would have to stop and take apart what she’d just done and start over. She’d run into the same problems when making the dress and doll dress for Sadie this past August, but it was still faster than sewing every seam by hand. For the trickier parts, she still preferred hand-stitching, but she kept the curtains simple.

“No ruffles or lace,” Garrett had said.

So that’s what she did. She would not risk the progress she’d made with him over something as unimportant as curtains. Though he hadn’t smiled at her again the rest of the week, he had been most cordial. Her supper offerings had improved, thanks to Mrs. Calloway’s coaching, and he had complimented Amanda on them.

She dearly hoped these curtains would continue to elevate her in his esteem.

With Sadie’s prompting, Amanda had chosen a serviceable muslin fabric in a pretty yellow color with tiny flowers. The fact that Sadie picked it out would go a long way toward winning Garrett’s approval if he thought the color or pattern too dainty. It would also brighten the rooms, which were terribly dark, between the ponderous walnut furniture and the unpainted walls. It was a leased cottage, she had to remind herself, nothing like the Chatsworths’ home or even the three-story orphanage.

“A tablecloth would help brighten things, too,” she said aloud to no one but herself. If she cut the cloth precisely, she might have enough left over to make one.

“Brighten things where?”

The masculine voice made her pause the treadle and look up. Garrett stood in the entrance to the writing room where Mrs. Calloway housed the sewing machine. Amanda had not expected to see him this Saturday afternoon, since he had given her the day off until suppertime.

“You’re not with the children?”

“They’re spending the afternoon with Roland and Pearl,” he pointed out. “What are you making?”

Amanda turned back to her sewing. “These are the curtains for your house.”

She heard him step into the room until he stood just a few steps behind her. “They are bright.”

“Sadie and I thought they looked like sunshine.”

He didn’t respond right away.

She glanced back.

He looked down at the hat in his hands. “I suppose you’re right, but they’re...bright.”

“Cheerful. They make me smile, especially knowing how much Sadie liked the fabric.”

As expected, that wore away the last of his resistance. “You really did ask Sadie to help you pick out the cloth.”

“Of course. She has excellent taste, especially when it comes to color. You must have noticed that she’s quite the little artist.”

He didn’t answer.

Again Amanda paused long enough to glance back. He was frowning. Why? “Do you disapprove of artists?”

“It’s not very useful.”

“Sometimes the most important things in life are not useful. Beauty lifts our spirits.”

If anything, he looked more uncomfortable.

“A tablecloth would only get stained,” he said gruffly.

“It could also teach the children to take care when eating.” She didn’t mention Garrett’s tendency to shovel food in his mouth as fast as possible. She’d seen starving children do the same thing in the orphanage. Perhaps he’d had to battle Roland for enough to eat. “Were you poor when you were growing up?” The moment she said the words, she regretted them.

Garrett’s complexion darkened, and she steeled herself for a rebuke.

Instead he denied it. “No. Not at all.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

He walked over to the window. Already the light was low. Soon darkness would settle over the land. “Forget it.”

She searched for another subject. “You must have come here today for a reason.”

He cleared his throat. “Roland and Pearl insisted I speak to you about the project they have for me. Us.”

She had forgotten. “The stable?”

“I don’t need help. I’ll cut the sheep from wood.”

“That would work, but they won’t be very nice for the children to cuddle.” When Pearl had first broached the idea, Amanda had imagined the children holding the lambs and perhaps even taking them home.

“Cuddle? I thought this was a depiction of the nativity.”

Amanda bit her tongue. Garrett was right. This was a holy, solemn moment. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. But how will we make them look like the animals? I don’t know anyone with paints.”

“I do.” Fiona swept into the room. “The moment Garrett told me about the project I sent for my painting supplies. They should be on the next mail boat from Chicago.”

“You paint pictures?” Amanda had to shut her gaping mouth.

Fiona smiled indulgently. “Singing is not my only talent. In the theater, one becomes accomplished in many arts.”

Amanda wondered why she’d never mentioned this before, especially when watching Sadie, who loved to draw.

Fiona had turned her attention away from Amanda and lavished it on Garrett. “You look quite handsome tonight.”

For the first time, Amanda noticed that Garrett was wearing his Sunday suit and good coat. He carried a felt bowler rather than the cap he wore when working in cold weather. His hair was combed into place, and he’d shaved.

He extended an arm to Fiona. “Shall we?”

“Of course,” she purred, casting a triumphant glance at Amanda. “We wouldn’t want to be late.”

Amanda turned back to her sewing and pretended to work. Almost immediately the bobbin thread snarled. Still, she worked the treadle, making the knot worse and worse. Only when she was certain Garrett and Fiona had left did she stop. The mass of knotted thread would take forever to untangle, but not as long as her foolish hopes.

* * *

Garrett felt awful from the moment he stepped into the boardinghouse and Mrs. Calloway sent him to the writing room. The woman clearly thought he was there for Amanda. The fact that she was working on curtains for his house only made things worse.

He should have explained that he’d agreed weeks ago to escort Fiona to her Saturday concert, when Sawyer Evans, her accompanist who usually walked her to the hotel, asked him for the favor. Sawyer had left this morning for Chicago to meet up with family ahead of the holidays.

“I don’t trust anyone else,” Sawyer had told him when Garrett hesitated.

The man must not have realized Fiona’s ambitions toward Garrett, or he would never have asked the favor.

At the time, Garrett couldn’t find a single reason to object, so he’d agreed. It wasn’t that he felt anything for Fiona. True, they’d dined together on occasion at the hotel, but they were just good friends. At least that’s what he told himself.

Fiona’s actions revealed just how wrong he was. She’d made a point of besting Amanda over the animals for the nativity play. Maybe he should have agreed with Pearl’s idea to make stuffed animals, but it had seemed like far too much work for Amanda, who was already helping at the school, working for him and making the costumes for the play. He’d wanted to ease her burden, but instead he’d paved the way for Fiona to triumph over Amanda.




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